High Tech Man

A man walks into a bar and sits down right across from the bartender. The bartender sees the man poking at his hand and putting it next to his ear, and asks him, "What are you doing? 

The man replies, "Oh, it's the newest technology -- I have a phone built right into my hand." The man puts his hand next to the bartender's ear and, sure enough, the bartender hears a dial tone. 

After a few drinks, the man goes into the bathroom. The bartender notices that he has been gone for almost a half-hour. Concerned, he goes into the bathroom to check it out. When he walks in, he sees the man with his hands on the wall standing with his legs apart and pants down. He has the end of a roll of paper towels shoved up his butt. Shocked, the bartender yells, "What are you doing?!" 

The man groans and replies, "I'm waiting for a fax."

10-4 willy

Willy Out of Tune with the Universe.

Some days Willy feels like he is out of tune with the universe.  Willy has a meeting today for his company from 10:30 to 2:30.  This means Willy hangs around the house for a couple of extra hours and then leaves home for the meeting.

Mrs Willy left at 7:30 as usual and Willy is just hanging out.   Will gets ready to leave and notices that the tub faucet is leaking more than it has been.  It was running pretty fast.  Well, this was supposed to be fixed by Willy several times over the past few weeks.  It has only been a drip to date.

Well, Willy gets a wrench and takes the head off the handle with the idea of wiggling it a little bit to get the sand loose and then surely it would go back to the usual drip.  Something came loose and water started shooting across the room.  Willy almost panicked but finally got a towel over the shooting stream.  Willy then ran outside and found a wrench to shut off the water to the house.

This was not before about half the bathroom had filled with water.

Willy spent thirty minutes cleaning up and then went to his meeting.  Willy worked all the way to the meeting to find a plumber.  Plumber came later and charged $100.   Willy should have done the job earlier because all it took was four washers that cost about $3.

Willy is out of Tune with the world.  Mrs Willy is a little out of tune with Willy!

10-4 Willy

Don't Drink and Drive

Not a True Story!

A couple of nights ago, Willy was out for an evening and had quite a few cocktails. 
Knowing  full well Willy may have been slightly over the limit, Willy  did something I've never done before ~ Willy took a cab home.

 Sure enough, Willy  passed a police road block but, since it was a cab, they waved it past. 

Willy arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise as Willy has never driven a cab before and am not sure where Willy got it, or what to do with it now that it's in my garage…..

10-4 Willy

Tweet from Hillbilly Willy (@hillbillywilly)

Hillbilly Willy (@hillbillywilly) tweeted at 5:39 PM on Mon, Dec 31, 2012:
#ABCWorldNews President Obama just proved with his speech on fiscal cliff that he is an A#1 jerk. Why would anyone want to try to work with him.

Instead of saying thank you Republicans for increasing taxes he said look at them they did what they said they would never do.
(https://twitter.com/hillbillywilly/status/285892846978990080)

Get the official Twitter app at https://twitter.com/download

Help Willy is Falling

Willy is next to the edge of the Fiscal Cliff.

Willy is going to fall!

Does anybody care about Willy

No!  It is not what you think.

They don't Care. 

Here we go!

Will it be a total straight down cliff or will it be a gradual fall!


Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

10-4 Willy

Why there are no School Shootings in Israel!

 

Our Children are the most precious thing that we have.  It is a shame but the idea of teachers having access to weapons is not a totally bad idea.   

It is sad that our country has come to this.   I see children simply playing outside on the playground very close to a major city street and my thoughts turn to the danger that they may be in because there may be someone crazy out there looking to do harm to our children.

We are in a state where hunting is big and season is in.   But I do not think about the fact that 1 out of every three trucks going by has a gun in it.  My thoughts go to the fact that 1 out of every several vehicles that go by has some one in it that my have some mental illness that cause them to want to harm innocent children.

May God help us!

10-4 Willy

Where is my Car?

This wasn't really Willy but it sure could be.  Don't laugh if it hasn't happened to you it will.

Several  days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel, I

desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.

I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets.

A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.

Frantically,  I headed for the parking lot.

My husband has scolded me many times for leaving

the keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.

His theory is that the car will be stolen.

As I burst through the door, I came to a

terrifying conclusion.

His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location,

confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I

always call him "honey" in times like these.

"I left my keys in the car and it has been stolen.

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been

dropped, but then I heard his voice.

"Are you kidding me," he barked, "I dropped

you off!! "

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I

said, "Well, come and get me."

He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not

stolen your car."

Yep, it's the golden years................