1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning in here.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My father taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My father taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. “Just look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. “If I told you once, I've told you a million times; don't exaggerate!"
13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You're going to get it from your father when he gets home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you’re cold?"
20. My father taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
25. My father taught me about JUSTICE . “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
26. My mother taught me about GARDENING. “Your ears are so dirty you could grow a corn patch in there
This is for the over 60 crowd because the younger ones wouldn’t believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our parents
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Posted by Willy at 7:26 PM
Friday, October 17, 2014
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
"Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked.
Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
She was "only thinking of me", she said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.
She replied, "Are you nuts? You are 78 years old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?"
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses?! This is a Membership
to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man, I'm in trouble again," I said, "I really don't know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!"
The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.
Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but
sometimes it can be fun.
Posted by Willy at 1:37 PM
Saturday, August 16, 2014
His request approved, the
photographer quickly used his mobile phone to
call the Townsville airport to charter a flight.
He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.
Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.
He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut,
and shouted, 'Let's go'.
The pilot taxied out, swung the plane
into the wind and took off.
Once in the air, the photographer instructed
the pilot, 'Fly over Mount Stuart and make
low passes so I can take pictures
of the fires on the hillsides.'
'Why?' asked the pilot.
'Because I'm a photographer for the Bulletin'
he responded,' and I need to get
some close up shots.'
The pilot was strangely silent for a moment,
finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me,
is . . . You're NOT my flight instructor?'
Posted by Willy at 7:34 AM
Tuesday, July 08, 2014
This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Bahama Breeze for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.
Follow Willy on over to Bahama Breeze this summer to celebrate good times. Of course there is always a good time to be had at Bahama Breeze but it can be especially fun starting June 23 through August 3 when they fire up the summer fun with a brand new event called Bahama Breeze Summer Beach Bash
Bahama Breeze will be featuring live music with the sounds of the Islands. Relax with Willy as they introduce their new signature cocktail, the Bahama Breeze Ultimate Pineapple. Do like Willy will do and grab your friends and check out Summer Beach Bash. Willy will be their enjoying his favorite cocktail. Willy might even try this new Ultimate Pineapple drink. They call it the must have frozen drink of the summer served in a fresh cut pineapple!
Make sure and hang around with Willy and be their on Saturday when they turn up the live music and bring out a mojito bar. (Willy has to hang around and see that.) Willy will choose Willy's favorite fruit, Willy's favorite rum, and then try to watch their bartenders muddle the perfect summer cocktail .
Remember that Willy is always looking for a good time and “Bahama Breeze is the summer destination for good times' That means that there will be fun, drinks, girls, music and something to remember.
Willy also found out that all of his buddies need to come to Bahama Breeze and create a selfie. Everyone that attends the Summer Beach Bash, can participate in the “Instagram Selfie Contest”. All you have to do is share a creative selfie of themselves enjoying their time at the Summer Beach Bash and use the hashtag #MyBBSelfie and they will be entered for a chance to win a $25 Bahama Breeze gift card! A creative selfie with Willy would probably win that one.
So all you Hillbilly Willy friends need to run over to your local Bahama Breeze between now and August 3rd to experience The Summer Beach Bash. Willy will be hanging out in Memphis. #SummerBeachBash #ad
Posted by Willy at 6:44 PM
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Hillbilly Willy spends much of his time coming across as a laid back redneck from Texas living in Arkansas. In true life Willy is a pseudo-name for a very intelligent graduate with a Master's degree from Texas A&M University. (Impressed yet?) In transition Willy has spent time in various places and the language of the country is very important to master. Has Willy mastered all of these languages. No, but Willy has found a way to get a translation that works.
In finding this translation source Willy has also found a way to work better in the financial industry by the finding of Rosetta Translation Services and the fact that they work expertly in financial translations. This is important in moving the financial transactions through different countries and through different companies.
Willy has found that Rosetta Translation Services is is a translation services headquartered in London, UK. They specialize in high-quality translations for corporate clients, including financial translation, such as financial statements, audit documents, etc, both for corporates and financial institution.
The question is how necessary and important is this type of service. Willy's answer to that is try this through many countries and many companies without this type of service. Any small effort will convince you immediately that this is something that is not only important, it is absolutely necessary.
Will you take Willy's word on this type of idea after many quips, quotes and fun that Willy has had. Yes, you should! That is what Willy has to say today.
Posted by Willy at 8:48 PM
Saturday, May 03, 2014
Last week was a tough one in Central Arkansas. Vilonia, Mayflower and some surrounding areas were hit by a devastating tornado. It destroyed 418 homes with another 115 homes with major damage. 15 lives were also lost.
In the midst of all of this friends and neighbors came to the rescue. The out pouring of the love and concern by individuals and businesses was outstanding. Even the youth of America who many say is going to hell in a hand basket turned out in droves.
Out of adversity - good prevails.
That is how it is in Arkansas this week.
Posted by Willy at 7:41 AM
Friday, April 25, 2014
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Porsche 911 Turbo in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came barrelling down the road, drifted right and completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the now door-less Porsche with his lights flashing.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his precious Porsche, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again, would never be the same.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said, "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"
"SHOOT!!!" screamed the lawyer. . . "My Rolex is gone!
Posted by Willy at 8:20 AM