Monday, June 25, 2007

Guess Willy is Conservative

Looks Like a Hillbilly might be fairly conservative. Must have something to do with those Mirajuana questions!

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 90% Conservative, 10% Liberal

Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Ethics: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Horror in Summer Camp

Willy done had some friends that took their kid to camp. In less than a week they done received this letter:

Dear Mom and Dad,

I've been here at summer camp for less than a week and I am in real trouble. Please come get me.

On my first day, I was wandering around and I found a piece of wood and began carving it with my Swiss Army knife the way Daddy showed me.

The next thing I know a counselor yelled at me to "freeze." He took my knife, then searched me like I was a criminal. Then he took me straight to the camp director. The director scolded me for bringing a lethal weapon, a symbol of pain and death, to camp? Then I was given a "verbal warning."

The next day, little Willy and I got bored, so we went into the woods to play army. We made guns out of a couple of branches. Then we made bullet noises as we fought the bad guys. Next thing we know we are off to the directors office. The director scolded us again. He said that there is so much war in the world because boys like us are taught to play war at an early age. He said that we were lucky he wasn't sending us home.

I decided right then and there that I was going to stay out of trouble. I even decided at lunch to say grace out loud and ask God to help me stay out of trouble, just like you taught met to do. Guess where that got me dad. Yep, back in the directors office.

Who do you think you are imposing your beliefs on others, I was asked. He said that my actions showed how "ignorant" and "insensitive" Americans are to other cultures; then he gave me another warning.

Well Mom & Dad, things got even worse the next day. During basket weaving I was sitting next to Mary, the prettiest girl I ever saw.

"Mary," I said, "you're so pretty you make me smile from ear to ear."

Well, next thing I know, I was carted off to the director again. He said I really bad this time. My behavior was called "boorish," and against the law. He said I should be sued for sexual harassment.

By the way, what is a "gender terrorist"?

By now I was really upset. But I had forgotten about it the next day when we played kickball. I kicked the ball really far and did really good. I was so happy, I screamed, "We win! We win!"

Well, that got me another trip to the director's office. This time I was called "insensitive" to the players on the other team. He said I hurt their "self-esteem." Then she asked me if Daddy was a Republican.

I figured by now that I'd better just keep to myself. So I got a jar out of the cafeteria and went into the woods. I got a bumblebee into the jar and put some flowers in there to keep him happy. I was poking holes in the top to let fresh air in when I was hauled off to the director again.

This time, the director was really mad. He yelled, who did I think I was doing something that would cause the death of an innocent bee? He said I had no respect for the Earth and people like me were responsible for global warming. I was told that I would be lucky if the world didn't end before I collect Social Security.

The director told me that I better get with the program -- there is no place in this world anymore for "thoughtless," "restless," "insensitive" boys like me. He said if I mess up one more time, he was kicking me out of the camp.

By the way, what is Ritalin?

Anyhow, you better plan on coming back here to get me. Tomorrow everybody is going for a hike in the woods. And I already picked some flowers to give to Mary.

Your son,


Monday, June 18, 2007

Simple Pleasures!

Driving down the road is a new experience now. I recently acquired a used vehicle with satellite radio. This is a luxury item that that I would not buy myself except that it was already there. My first inclination was that this was something that I would use seldom. However, since I am a “talk radio” junkie, I thought I would find some news program to listen to.

In scanning the “too many” channels I stumbled on to a classic radio station. Old radio dramas along with shows like Bob Hope, Red Skelton and others are the mainstay of the channel. Just after discovery of the channel, an old western came on with the clip clop of the horse as it moved across the prairie. It proceeded to tell a gunfighter’s story. Found it very interesting.

I now find that I look forward to the jokes of Red Skelton, the Hi – Oh – Silver and the distinct voice of Joe Friday.

It is amazing how the simple things of days gone by can now seem so entertaining.

Life is good!

10-4 Willy

Burn Notice's Spying 101

Willy done heard about a new show coming June 28th. It is USA Network's Burn Notice.

Willy done sees the catch phrase on the internet about the show. It says :When spies get fired, they don't get a letter from human resources. They get BURNED...

USA Network's Burn Notice lets Willy see how a real undercover guy figures out who gave the notice.

Wow! If Willy was to have this problem there are several ways that Willy might work out to find how who is out to get him. First of all Willy can't use his regular contacts cause it might be one of them. Therefore, Willy would set it up like he done gets killed and would then come back dressed up like Juanita down at the Hillbilly Possum Grit Grill and Cantina. Then Willy would slip around the hills and talk to people in a sexy voice like Juanita.

Boy when people see Juanita away from the diner they sure likes to talk. They would tell Juanita everything. This sounds like the smart thing to do......

Or willy might do like Barney Fife and dress up like a cleaning lady down at the bank. Willy could stand around and here all of the big spys talk as they come in to deposit there money. Willy could sure find out something like that...

Or Willy might dress up like Cannon the real big detective. He seemed to always be able to find out things that no one else could. Man, I got a real start on that disguise. Look in the mirror. Man Willy you need to go on a diet.

Well when all else fails. Willy can just go and watch the show starting June 28th. Burn Notice comes on the USA Network. It sounds like something Willy will want to watch. Wonder if Willy could get him a HDTV to watch it on.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Paris - A Changed Person!

Willy done believes from what he is hearing that Paris Hilton has done had a real experience and wants to really turn her life around. Willy done heard that Paris has made the following comments:

The 26-year-old Hilton Hotel heiress has said she wants to turn her life around. Speaking from a Los Angeles County jail facility, Paris Hilton told Barbara Walters that, "I used to act dumb. It was an act, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me. I am 26 years old now and it is a different time. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance."

Willy believes that the rest of the story comes from the father. This makes Willy really feel good about the chance that God has given her. The rest of the story is that despite the fact that Paris Hilton is currently behind bars for her reckless ways, and that she has announced she will abandon her previous reputation, reports indicate that when Paris Hilton makes it out of the Los Angeles County jail system, there will be a massive party waiting for her. In order to get her through the long, lonely nights in jail, Rick Hilton, the father of Paris Hilton, is planning a huge celebration for the day Paris is released from her 45-day jail sentence.

The New York Post has reported that Rick Hilton has been searching for the appropriate venue for a "Welcome back from jail" party for Paris. The report indicates that Rick Hilton has asked several clubs in Las Vegas to foot the bill for the honor of hosting the Paris Hilton release bash, including full accommodations, flights, and a fee of $50,000 in cash. A source close to the party plans has told the Post that both the Hard Rock and Pure night clubs have both said no to the "honor" of hosting the party, but the owner of the Palms in Sin City has not yet decided on whether his casino will host the event.

Come on now! Willy believes that with all of this information – maybe we are being a little too harsh on Paris.

Lets turn Paris loose and GET THE PARTY STARTED!!!!

10-4 WILLY

Monday, June 11, 2007

Willy and the Computer

Willy done knows that the computer is a mighty tool...when it works. Willy done knows that when it doesn't work it may be good for an anchor off the edge of the fishing boat. Well, you might figure out that Willy has had computer problems this past week.

Friday night the thing works well. Runs fast.. runs smooth. No problems. Willy shuts the blame thing off and goes to bed. Willy gets up Saturday morning and the thing wont come on. Willy done thinks the cheap power supply that HP put in this thing is done gone out.

Well, Willy moves it to the side and cranks up the old standby. Willy is lucky to have an old standby. For you see about a year ago the old standby was the main thing. However, it went out and Willy decided it was "dead in the water" and Willy went out and bought him a new one. Just for fun though, Willy took it to a local computer fix it man and $75 and it was back up and running.

Well, Willy moved it to the side and kept the new one because it was bigger and better and faster and now it is deader. But it is now at "Mr. Fixit" and maybe with a little tender loving care and about $75 more it can be running again.

If it don't I might take it down to Juanita at the Possum Grit Cantina and Bar and see if she can fix it. She knows a little about everything. I know because she told me so.

Till then Willy hobbles a long with the old stand by. Guess there is a lesson in this somewhere. Anybody know what it is.

10-4 Willy

Drug Rehab

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At Stone Hawk they deeply care about addicts, because someone made the effort to care about them.

Stone Hawk stands by the Narconon® program, because the Narconon program worked for them when other programs failed.

Drug addiction is a problem that is takenvery seriously at Stone Hawk. You can start a new life at Narconon Stone Hawk and let the healing begin. Learn how to save a life, and your family.

I have known people who have used services such as this and it has helped them change their lives.

It might be noted that these types of services are very good and that even though I might get a small compensation for writing this review - it is a good thing to get help if you have a problem.

10-4 Willy

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Dear Old Texas - Yeah!

Dear Old Texas -Billy Vest

Willy says some days he longs for returning to Texas. Ran into this old song. Maybe this should be Willy's theme song.

Willy - Needs Protection - Web Root Spy Sweeper!

It was early in the day on the first day of the week. Willy didn't have a clue about anything like Spy Sweeper. Willy was downloading some pictures to go into Willy's Blog. When what to Willy's suprise, something appeared on his screen and it seemed as though Willy had lost all control of his computer. Wow! Willy had heard of such a thing -- but it couldn't happen to Willy. Willy had a good old used computer and Willy didn't need any problem.

Well, Willy done has some computer training, so Willy done started quickly to do what Willy thought would save the computer. Well despite what Willy did the computer began to act funny. Soon it shut down and wouldn't even come back on. (Geeks say Reboot)

Well Willy done went down to the "Roadkill Possum Grit Grill and Cantina" and consulted with the famous bar maid Juanita. Juanita told Willy all of her tricks and a couple even pertained to fixing a computer. In the mean time Willy drank something called a Stinky Gringo. Juanita said that after that Willy could either fix the computer or decide that he didn't care.

It was during all of this deep conversation that Juanita told Willy that if he had a product called
Spy Sweeper by Webroot he wouldn't have all of this problem.

Well, Willy went to work the next day on the computer trying to recover anything. After several hours Willy had recovered nothing. Willy headed to the electronics store and bought a new computer.

The first thing after buying the computer Willy done loaded a copy of Spy Sweeper on the computer. Willy wanted no more problems.

You see Willy done some studying after Juanita told him about this product. Willy done found out that

Willy needs to Keep his PC Safe from Spyware

Willy found that Spyware grows more sophisticated every day. There's more of it, and it's more malicious than ever before. Willy found out that Experts agree: Spy Sweeper delivers the most advanced spyware detection, blocking and removal available to beat dangerous spyware programs.

Willy done found that he can Browse Where he Wants, When he Wants

Willy found that dangerous and annoying spyware can infect your system in many different ways when you use the Internet. Spy Sweeper gives you 360 degrees of protection. Powerful new Smart Shields block known and emerging spyware threats as you browse - before they ever reach your computer and personal information. Willy found that if your PC is already infected, Spy Sweeper's advanced discovery methods find and completely destroy malicious spyware that hides within your PC - even spyware that hides using rootkit technology.

Willy can now Download his Favorite Music, Pictures and Videos Without Spyware Intruders
Willy discovered that file sharing programs and swapping music, photos or other files are notorious avenues for spyware infection. Spy Sweeper can effectively identify slight changes in new spyware threats or variants to prevent spyware threats from ever installing on your PC.

Most of all Willy found that with Spy Sweeper Willy can have more Time Computing, Less Time Solving Computer Problems

Willy also found with this that he can rest Easy with Continuous Customer Support
All Webroot products are backed by knowledgeable and friendly support experts who will help you through even the toughest spyware problems. Unlike many of our competitors, we offer this online and phone support absolutely FREE.

What more could Willy ask for - now his computer is safe.