Rules of the South - Listen Up Yankee!

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a Pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 3 times a year.

4. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

5. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

6. Yeah, we eat Crappi and Catfish and love it. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

7. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a Religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

8. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

9. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a whole heck of a lot more fun to watch.

10. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards --it spooks the fish.

LAST AND NOT LEAST ---

You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

10-4 Willy